tiff's gone for the weekend, leaving me ostensibly in charge. i can't say that i feel particularly in charge, more like a jockey hoping that the temperamental thoroughbred he's perched on makes it to the finish line without throwing him. (except that using a riding crop on a toddler is illegal). i've been trying to catch stella on my camera phone to keep tiffs maternal instinct in check. ( i keep picturing tiff at the airport, stomping her foot and saying "put me on the next plane to my baby!". )
it's been a while since just stella and i have hung out for a few days. as a two-year-old she is constantly engaged in a fully body exploration of her immediate surrounding accompanied by a steady and enthusiastic commentary on each facet of the experience. she's not shy about what she thinks. morning time is for "pushing buttons and hot coffee" (the computer) and afternoon is for "fixit bike-ride" (tinkering and biking). stella has her own sense of style and is generous with her opinions on fashion. nala d. dog, sasha rottenweiler and i are are looking nice this weekend in our hairbands and swim goggles.
we're enjoying the fall weather. opposite of kentucky, everything is getting greener as rain intermittently creeps in the same way drinking returns to recovered drunk; "i'll just have one a week, or maybe two or three...oh hell, gimme the bottle." but until we're caught in the full precipitating misery that is oregon winter, it gorgeous. (i.e. just a little tipsy)

Here's our new pad, an inviting old farmhouse on a hundred acre farm that backs up to the Mary's river and faces west. From the upstairs you can see the sun set over the coastal range at night. The fact that lawn service is included in the rental makes me think I'll wake up back in the trailer park and find out that it's just a dream. We are all enjoying the extra space, at least after a couple of days of trying to figure out exactly where Stella could be. I'd never realized how much easier child care was in a two room apartment.
I'm fresh back from Burning Man, which is never what I expect and always seems to pull the rug out from under me a little bit. The picture above is a steel sculpture called "Bliss Dance" and was my unquestioned favorite piece of art this year. This year, John and I spent most of our time rolling around on a pedal taxi and using a megaphone to create a radio station without a dial.
When I was a kid, I loved putting on costumes and playing the part. Burning man offers a similar chance to escape some day-to-day habits and ways of being. Or at least that's how I justify wearing fishnets and swinging around a cage at a dance club. If you are troubled by this sort of behavior, be comforted by the fact that I was sharing the cage with a psychiatrist and we've worked out how we feel about all of this. Trust us, we're doctors...
Tiff has finished 4 out of 7 weeks of radiation and continues to be casually courageous about it. We snuck in a whirlwind camping trip in the mountains this weekend between treatments and were rewarded with some phenomenal views of the Cascade range from atop Black Crater. The mixture of lava, snow and wildflowers was amazing and typical of the bizarre and beautiful landscapes in Oregon, a state seemingly designed by a drunk geologist.